2008 Writing Contest

We are looking for another partner. Somebody who works too hard, who will take a smaller percentage of profits than they deserve and preferably who tends bar. As such, we are having a writing contest during the entirety of 2008. The winner of the contest will be given a share of the company (3% if you must know the nitty gritty). This person will be ridiculously creative, speel better than Beav, easy to drink with and otherwise be willing to do a bunch of stuff we don't want to do but frankly is necessary- like spy on the mayor and keep track of all the dumb things said on local radio. Beav and Kegger will be the sole judges of the contest. The winner must win by unanimous decision. We might even have two or three winners if we are that impressed. Actually, we'd prefer two or three winners. Here's the deal.

1. We need at least ten submissions over the course of the year with no more than three in any given month.
2. Use your own ideas. Newspapers are where we usually start because of all the great key words (it is a business afterall). Remember, this isn't the fucking Onion, so legitimate satire is preferred, but very very good parody is good too. Try to avoid the Middle Eastas a topic unless you actually have something new to say or have a very new way of saying something old. Keep it mostly Wisconsin based or from a Cheesehead's point of view if you are talking about something not exclusively of and about Wisconsin. The Presidential race is worthwhile fodder. Remember not to ramble on, it looks like you're just rambling on.
3. When you write, never ever pick on a private person. Only pick on people who are in the news and public figures, such as, politicians, other media folk and really rich guys with no sense of civic duty.
4. We expect you to check your facts, so do it, and have your bibliography or notes available.
5. Make sure we know who you are and how to contact you easily. Once you submit a piece we would like to publish we'll invite you out for a drink- you buy the odd numbered rounds- to discuss the stuff that needs to be discussed.
6. Click the damn Google Ads, we'll know whether you did or didn't and it will matter.
7. Make us laugh.